Get your biweekly dose of Cold Calling inspiration right here.

I’ll cover topics ranging from what to say and what not to say all the way to making your potential client feel validated, how to form genuine connections, staying motivated when you’re dragging, studying speech patters and intonation, how to remain in control of the conversation and managing the gatekeeper.

The Gatekeeper Question: Your Wing Man

You’d think, by now, given all of the technological advances available to us especially in the social arena – that dating would no longer be an awkward, pride swallowing, potentially self esteem annihilating venture. You would be wrong.

Enter the dating man’s best asset: The Wingman.  In military terms, a wingman is your partner; the man who will never leave your side even when the chips are down. Think Goose.

In dating, the Wingman’s role is to take some pressure off of you and to collect initial information about the object of this evening’s adoration – her potential interest level, availability, humour, demeanour, response.  Yes, we are all basically still in high school, sending our best friend to approach the girl sitting on the bleachers by passing her a note scrawled “Homecoming dance?”

The Wingman Balance

But with what information – and how much – do you empower your entrusted Wingman? Give him too little, he cannot entice her.  Give him too much, and he may overwhelm her, unintentionally poisoning your chance to speak with her directly.  You don’t want him to replace you – you just want him to introduce you. It’s a tricky balance, but a very important one.

How Much Information Should You Give the Gatekeeper?

Stick to the same policy for gatekeepers.  If you chat up the gatekeeper (I always recommend being polite at a very minimum) and give away too much information, your battleship is sunk.  The gatekeeper can draw his own conclusions.  He can pitch you – or decide not to pitch you – in a way that you wouldn’t represent yourself.

Even unconsciously or via body language, he can draw and communicate conclusions, pumping the decision maker full of inaccurate information, assumptions, unfavourable comparisons or recommendations. You then have to fight an uphill battle to alter the impression already given, rather than starting from scratch. The last thing you want is a lesser version of you speaking with the decision maker on your behalf.

Playing it Close to the Vest

This is why I recommend giving very little information to the gatekeeper.  Certainly, be cordial and respectful, but keep it simple and tightly wrapped.  All you need to do is let him know that you will call again at another time.  Don’t leave a message, even if he offers to take one, which he probably will.  It’s not being cryptic- it’s staying in control and part of Driver’s Seat Methodology.

Your Wingman is your opening band, your sidekick, your emcee – not MiniYou.



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